Who Should Own a Car First: The boyfriend or the girlfriend?

Today I want to share a story of my life. Growing up, life had been anything but easy.  My family struggled to make ends meet, and luxury was an alien concept. But I was determined, and I managed to study. I graduated with a Bachelor’s in Journalism and Communication, majoring in Comms and Marketing at Makerere University, all on a government sponsorship.

Life after campus should be given a full-year course unit, in my opinion, because I could not have imagined it. It wasn’t easy at all. Jobs were challenging to come by, and those that came, the working conditions, I can’t mention here, dear reader.  Yet, I refused to remain idle. Even for small gigs earning as little as UGX 10,000, I took them to feel the satisfaction of earning my own money.

Through all this, I had someone who loved me deeply: my boyfriend. He came from a slightly better-off family and had already been working for two years by the time I graduated. He wanted me to rest, to take it easy, to stop chasing low-paying gigs that drained me. But I couldn’t. I wanted to be taken care of, I really did. But his salary, though better than mine, wasn’t enough to sustain both of us and build the life I dreamed of. And honestly, I couldn’t just wait for provision.  I wasn’t raised that way. All I knew growing up, was finding the next best option to fend for yourself.

So, I worked. I took any gig I could find. The idea of just sitting at home doing nothing did not sit so well with me. My boyfriend even suggested I get pregnant once, thinking maybe that would give me something to focus on at home, and, despite his love, he couldn’t provide enough to build the life I envisioned. We were renting a one-bedroom house, had no savings, and I wasn’t ready.

Then one day, everything changed. At a marketing gig, the supervisor of a big fuel company noticed me. He said they needed talents like mine. I was given a chance to prove myself. I worked hard, and soon my campaign tripled the expected results. My bosses couldn’t be happier. Before I knew it, I was signing a five-year contract as Head of Marketing.

My boyfriend was proud, yet worried. I promised him I would take care of myself, balance my work, and not overexert. But then came the company’s offer: they suggested I get a car, with 40% paid upfront and the rest via a salary loan. Oh, my God!  I was getting out of the public means of transport league, i was to own my own car. And this, dear reader, is where the trouble came from.

I shared the news with my boyfriend, expecting celebration. Instead, I got hesitation.

“Are you sure this isn’t a scam?” he asked cautiously.

“Two months into this job, at a major company, and I have a 5-year contract dahhhh. Definitely  not a scam.” Said I? 

“ You have never had a sensible salary. What do you know about salary loans? Is the top boss trying to involve you in private matters or something?” He added after a while. 

I honestly didn’t know what to do with these questions and reactions.  “The company simply wanted their ‘employee of the month’ to be comfortable and more reliable”, I explained. 

We went back and forth about the salary loan and a few other small things; he was careful with his words, circling the real issue, until at last, he let it slip:

“How do you expect me to feel… when a woman buys a car before me? Do you know how disrespectful that is? What will my friends and family say?”

  I froze. Not because I didn’t love him, but because I had always believed respect and partnership were built on trust, communication, and mutual support, not on outdated rules.

“Who says a woman owning a car before her husband is disrespectful?” I asked gently. “I’m not trying to compete with you. I’m just accepting a company offer. Why does it threaten you?”

His silence was telling. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the question was born: In a world where love, ambition, and tradition collide, who should own the car first-the husband or the wife? Or perhaps, the real question we should ask ourselves is: should it even matter who owns a car first?

Walk into any Kampala car bond on a Saturday and you’ll likely overhear a familiar debate: “Should we get a Premio or a Spacio?” “How much fuel does this one use?” But beneath all the discussions about make, model, and colour, there’s often a more personal, less spoken question:

Who is the car really for? What do you think?
In your home, if you could only buy one car today, who would it make the most sense to give it to first, and why?